Over-parenting, say researchers, is expensive and ineffective.

Hands-on parenting is a good thing, right? Right! We didn’t have these kids so they could raise themselves, did we? No we did not. That’s why we’re only too happy to cultivate their every interest and — while we’re at it — introduce them to impressionism, equestrianism and Mandarin Chinese.

We may be going too far.

Social scientists say our intense parenting — described as our desire to anticipate and solve our kids’ problems, with a major emphasis on enrolling them in a never-ending schedule of expensive activities designed to cultivate athletics, intelligence or socialization — is doing more harm than good. Research from Holly H. Schiffrin from University of Mary Washington says we’re better off saving at least some of our money, because too much of this on-the-ball parenting is turning our kids into depressed adults who are incapable of making decisions. Yet still feel entitled to hold executive jobs.

Whoa…what?

Yes, we’ve seen decades of research to celebrate the Involved Parent. It used to be kids with caring moms and dads did better academically and socially. But scientists at the time had not yet met — or perhaps had inadvertently created — the Ever Ruling PTA President who conducts even a casual supermarket conversation as though it were a televised interview on her parenting views and – in case you didn’t know – she considers carpooling a form of child neglect. She picks her kid’s friends, his after-school activities and — in tight and urgent situations —his nose.

Okay, let’s admit: we’re all guilty of this to some degree. Who among us can stand to see particles dangling from an underage nostril? And isn’t it just like all of us to think that if one dose of parenting is good then two must be even better and soon we’re all overdosing, leaving our kids to suffocate and our wallets filled with air.

But parenting, says to these researchers, is like a U shaped curve. Doing none at all or way too much takes a person to the very same place. With the time-consuming and expensive route creating a cycle of dependence, meaning our kids never learning to make choices for themselves.

That’s why children with overly-involved mothers (they see it more in moms than dads) are more likely to experience stress and anxiety in adolescence and college. They have a decreased sense of being, lower coping skills, and are more likely to be medicated. They’re also, not incidentally, narcissistic and entitled. That’s despite feeling they’re less competent than their peers.

Here’s where it really hurts: The researchers found almost no links between lots of activities and increased skills or — brace yourself — happiness. In fact, scheduled activities take away from time for unstructured play, during which kids are known to employ creativity and develop sharp social skills.

“Parents who are trying to anticipate and solve future problems by enrolling their children in activities that would allow them to gain critical skills for social and academic success may find that these activities have little or no effect,” write the researchers. And if we’re talking about the littlest kids, these classes are just “time consuming and expensive.”

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“Intensive Parenting: Does it Have the Desired Impact on Child Outcomes?” By Holly H. Schiffrin, Hester Godfrey, Miriam Liss & Mindy J. Erchull, published in the JOURNAL OF CHILD AND FAMILY STUDIES.