There’s a new way to divide money in divorce.

Divorce is a major life decision but if together you decide happiness can be found only in separate homes, consider sparing yourselves much of the bloodshed — and therefore the pain — that typically accompanies a marital breakup.

Because rather than hiring expensive lawyers to fight with each other in backed-up courts – for all the press and the people to see — many ex-couples today are turning to “the Collaborative Process,” a marriage dissolution method that depends on a team with a goal of bringing you two together on how to split what you used to share. It’s a more private process that uses less time, fewer dollars and is completely transparent, as each person can walk away with the respect they’ll need to live happily divorced forever.  

Here are the five steps:

1) First, you and your soon-to-be ex-husband – yes, it’s hard, get used to that word – hire your collaborative team. On it, you’ll still have attorneys, but they’re collaboratively trained, meaning mostly that they guide you in a divorce process that is cooperative and private.  There’s also a neutral mental health professional, and a neutral financial professional. Perhaps you noticed a reoccurring word? Yes, that’s “neutral.”

2) Next, you’ll meet with the neutral mental health professional who will gather information about your concerns, goals, and interests. This professional won’t work as a therapist, but will instead keep communications open and emotions rational. On both sides.  They will also facilitate development of a healthy co-parenting plan.

3) You’ll have joint meetings with the attorneys that will occur throughout the process.  They will advise and advocate for you, but give you the control of your divorce. They will guide both of you to set goals and draft agendas for subsequent meetings, so the divorce can have a quicker resolution. And of course, at the end, they draft the settlement agreement. 

4) You will be given assignments to complete, such as compiling certain financial information. The financial professional will propose a solution that maximizes financial benefits for both parties. And because this person works for both of you, the process is transparent. 

5) You pay and guess what? Your bill will be a lot less than a traditional litigated divorce, which involves never-ending legal fees. Here, there are no motions, depositions or contested court hearings. Not every topic or every meeting requires the attorney’s presence, and the other professionals charge an hourly rate half or perhaps even a quarter of what attorneys earn.  

Dr. Ronda Fuchs

Dr. Ronda Fuchs is licensed Clinical Psychologist on Miami Beach specializing in marital issues, divorce and other interpersonal conflicts. Learn more at www.rondafuchscounseling.com or ask her a question at rondabari@aol.com