Government Names a Winner in the Mommy Wars

We are ending the mommy wars, which will certainly make things less exciting around here. Because when it comes to the stand off between Working Moms and Stay Homes, we at this website are double agents. The stress over work deadlines distracts us from sending in our field trip money in on time. But because we work from home we’re at the carpool lane – without make up (like those suited-up office moms) or coordinated outfits (like the stay homes.) But we’re there, nonetheless, and can hear the  chatter over some people’s (we won’t mention any names, mostly because they’re ours) poor parenting. But guess what? We can put away our armory and go home. The unexpected victors here are — drum roll — moms working part-time. So congratulations, ladies. Hats off to you (but please, forgive the hair, we got in a workout today…)Anyway, we bring you this information from a government study that starts with the premise we all know: reading and playing with kids are the two most important inputs into child development. But the government points out that also pretty important is when you do decide to do those things. You know, waking up the kids at 2 a.m. and reading to them The Odyssey certainly won’t help anyone.

The government says kids under age 13 are most productive in the morning. That’s also when many of us drop those little rug rats off at school. Kids over 13 need this kind of nurturing at night – and even lawyers get home before teens get to bed. Moms who work part-time, the study says, adjust their schedules to always capitalize on the most produtive hours.

When it comes to reading to kids under age five, all of us – meaning those of us working full-time, part-time, and only at home – spend the same amount of time each day with books in their laps. Before you get to smug, please note  that’s a mere six minutes a day, even though depending on the book, it could feel like much longer (we know.) While working moms do most of their reading at night on days they work – and in mornings on days they don’t – the study makes a point of saying their kids are not worse off. Typically they spend those hours with doting preschool teachers or nannies, and get the benefits. Moms with part-time jobs simply read to their kids whenever it’s most worthwhile.

But when it comes to playing, moms working part-time spend the most time on the floor with puppets and puzzles on nonwork days, when they play and play and play for 54 minutes. On workdays, they get in 24 minutes. Moms working full-time play 18 minutes on days they work and 42 minutes on days they don’t. Stay-home moms play 48 minutes a day.

When it comes to routine childcare – bathing, feeding –  moms without outside jobs do the most, about 1 hour and 42 minutes a day. Moms who work part-time do that much on days they don’t work and a solid hour on days they do. Full-timers get in 1 hour and 30 minutes of routine child care the weekends – or other days off – and 54 minutes on days they go to their offices or worksites. Really, the differences aren’t nearly as remarkable as the criticism that goes back and forth.

And while the Mommys seem to be at war with each other – working vs. stay home – it’s really stay home father that deserve to be targets. Most of them reported zero hours of reading time each day, 30 minutes worth of playing time, and 42 minutes of routine childcare.