Problem with joint bank accounts is that we open them with husbands, a group of people who historically have not shared our passion for new dining room chairs or updated window treatments. Sometimes they have the nerve to suggest there’s enough money for golf memberships or a ski trip – even when those purchases cost more than our home decorating aspirations.
We know some wives who have found some dangerous – to their money and their marriages – ways to get what they want. We don’t recommend you try them at home, and have listed them later in the post.
But first, to get what you both want to buy – along with some bliss – into your marriage ask him why it’s so important he go to play 18-holes. You might learn he being around because you make him do chores or he meets new clients out there. Feel free to explain you want a new table so you can eat in for fun.
Then, set aside time to sit down together and create a spending plan. First on the list will be those expenses you can’t cut: housing, car payment, food or anything else that’s pretty permanent. Second, include those costs that keep you both happy – dinners, movies, and kids’ clothes or other child activities.
When you’re done, there should be money left over – that’s what you have to work with. Each of you can designate a portion for your personal purchases. Even $20 a month will help you save up for whatever it is you want to buy without asking permission. Just remember, everyone has to stick to the plan.
DIRTY MONEY SECRETS: These women risk their riches and their relationships with these spending strategies. We don’t
recommend you follow them!
Every time I go food shopping I take $25 cash back and stash it away for whatever I want – Stacy
I have a bank account that I fill with pocket money. If a group of us go to lunch, I’ll pay with a credit card and people will give me cash. It’s that money I sock away secretly. – Karen
I have credit cards with bills that go to a Post Office box. I only make the minimum payments. I told my sister if I die she should remember to come here and pay off the accounts. – Debby
I shop online and have all the packages sent to my office. I pay the bills, so my husband never sees the evidence of my splurges. – Kristen
My husband and I do the same way. For example, we allow a certain amount for each of our clothing budgets each month. We don’t question when and how it is spent. Therefore, if I want to save all of mine for five months and blow it on a designer handbag, I can. Not only can I, but I do it without feeling like a teenager sneaking a beer from her parents. This keeps peace in the marriage, we feel equal with each other and living frugally isn’t restraining when I know I have some latitude with my spending as long as I plan it out in advance.
So funny, yes, like sneaking beer (which our kids will never do – we know all the tricks…) But totally, freedom to shop without permission or explanation!