Whether you believe that or not, there are three easy ways to make sure both partners feel the love when it comes to money and marriage. BY THE HOME ECONOMIST

Young men earning much less money than their wives are also most likely to cheat, says study.

Wives who earn more money than their husbands are most likely to be victims of infidelity, if you believe study results from Cornell University researcher and sociologist Christin Munsch. She says that men who are completely economically dependent on their wives are five times more likely to cheat on them. Munich examined national data and determined that young married men who earned 40 percent or less of their household’s income most often reported having an additional sex partner or having sex with a stranger. She blames the phenomenon on our society targeting men as the breadwinners.

“It’s threatening when they’re not,” says Munsch. “And when we experience a threat to our identities we’ll engage in behaviors aimed at restoring that identity. One of the ways that young masculinity is defined is sexual conquest.”

Dr. Ronda Fuchs, a licensed psychologist in Miami Beach, won’t argue that society has assigned to men the income-earning role. But she points out that Munsch’s findings are based purely on men under age 30, who may not have the maturity levels or the emotional investments – such as kids or committed years — that have been acquired by their older counterparts. What’s more, she says, people are getting married at later ages, making the narrow findings even less relevant to most spouses.

“When it comes to issues in a marriage, financial stressors can be huge,” she says. “But this is such a small population. When it comes to infidelity, there are so many variables.”

Still, all the experts – including the skeptics — agree that while a solid number of married folks happily settle into either financial or domestic roles, it’s also fairly common for a high-earning spouse to assume – or be handed — more of control over household decisions, such as choosing a place to live, a school for the children or even a restaurant for dinner. When the other person’s opinions are discounted or ignored, then problems come into play, says Dr. Netta Shaked, a Miami Beach licensed psychologist.

“Unless couples can work though it, it can lead to dissatisfaction in the marriage,” she says. “And that can lead to infidelity.”

What to do?

Treat the family finances as you would a business, says Peter Raffalski, an executive vice president at Gibraltar Private Bank & Trust in Coral Gables who conducts the organization’s personal finance training. At any company, there’s a person who brings in money and another working on, say, accounting, he points out.

“You can’t be successful without both roles,” says Raffalski. “So you have to agree that each person is assuming a particular role of the family unit.”

Both partners must set aside time to work on a budget. The spending plan has line items of fixed expenses (mortgage, car payments) and then discretionary spending (eating out, clothes.) Then make sure the flexible line items be distributed evenly. That way each partner has the freedom — the power — to make purchases without asking permission.

“When you collaborate as a family and you set it on paper, there’s freedom for both people,” says Raffalski. “The stay-at-home spouse needs to feel as empowered by the other spouse. So there’s a sense of equality.” 

Schedule regular check-ins to make sure each party is sticking to the spending plan. If one person goes overboard it could sabotage both your finances and the relationship