Perhaps your husband doesn’t think you spend too much money, but rather he spends a lot of time

complaining about your purchases, well, it might be more than your trips to the mall that are at stake. New research from Brigham Young University and Kansas State University have found that marital problems and conflict are mostly likely to follow couples in which husbands viewed their wives as spenders.

The researchers looked at couples within all ranges, those with high incomes and low incomes as well as with couples who spent a lot and those who did not spend much at all. And they found that for husbands, having a wife who they saw as a spender was the highest contributor to financial conflict. For wives, having a husband who viewed them as a spender was the highest contributor this kind of fighting.

Guess, what? It didn’t even have to be true. It was merely the husband’s perception on the matter that made a difference.

That means even if circumstances changed and the couple made more money, or had ample resources, and the husband stuck to his spending scenario, the marriage would feel trouble.

“The study showed that circumstances weren’t the issue here,” says  Kansas State professor Sonya Britt-Lutter. “Perception was, and perception doesn’t always change when circumstances do.”

An incongruous view on household spending is common in couples in which one person earns a financial income and the other cares for the home, says Dr. Ronda Fuchs, a licensed psychologist. And the best way to shift a person’s perspective is to push it to one side with accurate information. Very often, the partner who is busy working has no idea what groceries cost or how much money it takes to clothe a kid or pay for sports clubs. If that’s the case, simply sitting down and look at credit card receipts and bank balances will prove that savings are ample and spending is under control.

Oh and if your husband’s right and you’re financially ruining things? Well, perhaps now that your perspective has shifted your spending might well follow suit.